Thursday, April 30, 2009

Swine flu hits home.

I watched the mexican news this morning, looking for any information about the strain that's kept us confined these last few days. I've been disappointed in Fox News' reports, claiming that Mexico's slow response has led to over 152 unofficial deaths. On the Mexican news however, it showed the mexican government's actions against this flu strain. With supposedly 99 confirmed cases, in Mexico, President Calderon has managed to shut not only a major city, but an entire country down. Schools are closed, businesses, restaurants, government buildings, major SOCCER games, (heaven forbid!!!), travel into Mexico City etc.... to lessen the spread of this infectious virus. However, with the United States' confirmed 109 swine flu cases riding so close to Mexico, I would think that such world power would have pushed for more extreme measures in securing the health of its citizens. And it won't. Not while there is a profit to be made. VP Biden made an announcement and advised that people use common sense. In a period of sickness, it is advised to avoid areas with alot of congestion... i.e. airplanes, subways, buses, public transportation. Be safe. Period. Of course, this would affect the airlines...who made a statement soon after, stating that they have, "extreme disappointment at your (Biden's) suggestion that people should avoid air travel." And later, "The airlines have been working daily with government agencies, none of whom suggest people avoid air travel, unless they are not feeling well." Well duh. What are they going to do to make sure someone doesn't sneeze? I would love to see the response. Nevertheless, the cases have spread across the U.S. Washoe County, home, has just reported 1 confirmed case. What is the United States going to do to stop this epidemic on their end? Before they start criticizing another country, who apparently has jumped leaps after its outbreaks, what precautions are the government planning to advise? Surely, the President can close down the country, as Mexico was able to do. But I doubt it. By closing so many necesitites, it would affect our wallets. I just hope that the U.S. doesn't drop the ball.

P.S. And then my mother called to inform me that my grandmother was spreading this swine flu conspiracy theory

Gotta love the family. <3

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Catch up week.

Thanks to the Pig-flu, schools are closed, streets are empty, and now i have the free time to catch up on my favorite blogs. This actually has been quite a treat, since after my little breakdown, we've been pretty busy. Believe it or not, last week I started the gym. I figured, no biggie... I used to go and do an easy hour of cardio and then some weights. I'll take it slow....back in shape in no time.

Oh hell no. Ten minutes on the machine and I felt like my legs were burning, my arms about to fall off. I kept my eye on the clock, hoping that it would just stop due to a power outage or something catastrophic and we'd all be *forced* to go home. But I wasn't that lucky... time kept ticking. The uncomfortable part about the whole thing was that this was the first time in 7 years that I had gone to the gym with my hubby... who seems to know it all. He came and asked me twice if I was okay....Apparently, the redness in my face was clearly visible across the gym and he promptly brought me a towel and some water. I dreaded hearing the alarm the next morning...hoping he'd forget about it, or feel ill and not want to go. Second day, I followed him as he explained different techniques to get rid of all my baby weight. oh no. I don't have a baby....the baggage just never left.

Well here was my chance to get rid of it.... once and for all. Luckily, by the end of the week, I was a little sore, but doing the machines and cardio for about 45 minutes. Not bad. I've got a ways to go. Now, thanks to those piglets... I ain't going anywhere where people are breathing hard and sweating all their toxins everywhere. No thanks. I'll skip this week.

I did get to tattoo a client last week. As I was setting up my station, I felt as something was missing. Oh yeah, the zanex...or the beer... anything to make me relax. Of course, I couldn't make that a habit. I bit the bullet. I held my breath every line and made it happen. This is an image that my client brought it... a representation of a jaguar god. A little cartoon-y if you ask me... but if that's what he wants... I'm all for it. It came out solid. I was pretty happy with it.

Hubby participated in an art show. Unfortunetly, it was in the evening and kiddos were already restless. After reminding my hubby to take a gazillion pics for me, somehow it ended up in the hands of another tattoo artist, who took more photos of his friends than of the art pieces.

Hubby participated in an art fusion... where 3 or so artists start a piece, and then switch and finish each others. Somehow, it turned into 10+ artists... and the idea of it kinda fell apart. Nonetheless, he participated in this event with other artists, graffiti artists and tattoo artists here in Guadalajara.

Listening to a few other bloggers, it was suggested to find a spanish tutor for the kiddos. They were supposed to start this week, but everything will be postponed until further notice. It's kinda hard not to worry about this whole pig virus. CNN and news stations in the states are blowing it up.. it's on every Mexican news channel....masks are completely scarce... schools are shut down. My mom and sisters, in a panic, are sending us 4 boxes of face masks. We drowned our tattoo shop in bleach today and besides having a black widow give us a run, it is hospital grade clean.

And after all the cleaning, I felt out of place. I needed to create something and break the sterile barrier. I needed to paint.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Friday, April 17, 2009

I'm trapped.

I need help.

I've hit one of those walls... I can't move forward and I can't go back.

Husband and I are at each others' throats. Everything I say pisses him off and everything he does, irritates the living crap out of me. I don't understand how we got to this point. We've been happy, content with our differences, for 6 years... and now, it seems everything has changed. Do I love him? yes. Am I happy? Well, I'm not so sure.

I'm gonna recollect a bit. Maybe I'll figure this out on my own. When I met him, I was a single mom, full time student, and working full time... very independant. When hubby and I met, we just clicked. All the pieces fit and we moved forward. We got pregnant with Little One early in our relationship and hubby gave me the opportunity to be a stay @ home mom. I would have the chance to spend the quality time with my kids, an experience I never was able to have with my older one, Moosecake. It was a fantastic experience... my son is five and still attached to my womb....but I couldn't sit still for long. My mother(retired) and I started a quilting business. Hubby agreed and financed $20k for my share of the project. It soon took over our lives. Hubby became more and more successful in his business and I got a little antsy in mine. I decided to stop going to the university and instead keep the time with my kiddos and go to cosmotology school. I quit working again, and dedicated my time to school and kiddos. About 3/4 of the way through, our lives crashed. Hubby was arrested and was being deported.
While that was a battle in itelf, I completely shut myself down. I had to finish and start working. I couldn't make our mortgage, two car payments, and daycare working two days a week. So, while my hubby sat in jail, fighting for a good 6 months, I spent 48 hours a week in school, fighting his case and busting butt working. My mom was great. She took my routine over. The kids stayed with her and kept school consistant... providing that stability that our household now lacked. I stayed with her on the weekends. After school was done and I passed state board, I went into business on my own. I never slept... working from 9am to 8pm then driving an hour to my mom's to see my kids and work in the quilting bus. til 2 am. Everyday... while still visiting hubby 2x a week, writing him, and fighting for him. After he was deported, we visited him in Mexico once every other month... for 6 months. That year flew by. I shut everyone out, but a few, made pretty good money and kept our house and our lives. I was really proud of myself.
Now fast forward.... I live in Mexico... in a tiny house that is constantly filthy, lugging two bored, unable to communicate kids around, away from everything that I know and love.... and I'm bored too. Hubby noticed. i needed something. We bought the "Sex SHop" next door. It's my little "project." It keeps me busy. But I'm a busy little dreamer that has no patience and a difficult time with the language.... so hubby is constantly helping me with my phone calls and ordering. We have an employee, which helps... but little money to do much else. Poco a poco.
So now what? All we do is fight. There's no communication. I feel like this last year, I was set free to take care of my family... after being domesticated for so long... and now, I sit back in my cage, waiting for my time to shine. Everyday is routine... long days at the shop, complaining kids. I'm bored. I'm lonely. I want a friend and my damn blog is my therapy.
You know what I've thought of? the horrible little wife that I am.... seriously. I don't want him to go away.... but I do... simultaneously. Go back a year. When I was hella independant and had my own life back... and he needed ME!!! I could take care of myself and my kids. I don't want to date anyone else. I don't feel the need to. I love him dearly. I would want to back and start all over. Start dating all over again... when life was fun and interesting... and we laughed... alot.

Expats.... is this situation familiar?

Or am I alone on this?

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Dora gets deported.

Eric Garcia's art was featured on Change dot org and it just cracked me up. Eric did a little interview and talked about our country's intricate relationship with immigrants. If you liked this cartoon and want to see more of Mr.Garcia's work, click here.

I'm going to the gym.

So yesterday, I had a crappy day. One of my hubby's clients asked him if I was pregnant... because my eyes looked 'tired'. WTF? what was he really trying to say?!? so that's it. I joined a gym and gonna change my eating habits. Asshole.

Wish me luck.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Grind the Faces of the Poor

What do you say to people who are ignorant? So caught up in their own version of "good will" that they push past the very idea that they represent? I've been irritated by some postings on the internet lately... reading hatred and anger hidden behind an avatar, some of which I found personally offensive. What I thought was a simple posting, turned into name calling, racism, and pure hate. I thought that the idea of "white entitlement" was an unspoken,impermissible antiquity, dying off with the last generation. It's depressing to hear that many Americans still feel this way, hiding behind closed doors, without a face... just a screen name. Comprehensive Immigration Reform is going to be difficult to achieve and I hope our President can make it happen.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Mark it on the Calendar.

Where Easter Bunny when you need him?

Being our first Easter in Mexico and determined to uphold our vital American "traditions", like Amanda,we set out to find easter egg dyes, baskets, and candy galore. We quickly learned that the Catholiscm is prevalent here... and well, the our commercialized holidays don't stand a chance. We figured that we would still dye some eggs, stuff a few, and continue on with our easter egg hunt. We tried Soriana, Mega, Superama... finally good ole trusty Walmart. To our surprise there were no hollow eggs, no easter egg dyes, no decor... nothing. Kids were really bummed. BING! my creative-self was thinking... no worries... food dye! The employees looked at me like I was nuts. They "think" they knew what I was talking about... but for eggs? No manches. When I had given up hope... those annoying things your mother always told you popped into my head. "Don't make a mess with Jello. If you stain my....." That's IT!!! I felt like Michaelangelo. or maybe like my son's fav... Superman. I saved Easter. Well, after blowing about a dozen eggs, burning my fingers, and staining my kitchen counter.... we had pastel colored eggs!!! We decorated them with Little One's crayons... and filled them with confetti.

We still got our Easter Egg Hunt at a park nearby. We forgot baskets... so those farmacia bags in the back worked just fine. Kids had a blast...despite the minor substitutions. Even better, when Dad got Moosecake with her own filled egg. Jeje.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Guest post... check it out.

Que onda peoples! porfavor, haceme un favor...

I got the opportunity to guest post at ..... a website dedicated to changing many issues in front of us. There is an immigration forum, as well. I was given the opportunity to guest post,, bringing awareness to deported and their families. Please check it out, perhaps, leave a comment. And if you feel up to it, check out the petitions that you can participate in.... such as the DREAM act, or perhaps eliminating violence against women, and many other worthy causes.


Monday, April 6, 2009

I'm gonna smash that signal.

The left hand blinker. It's annoying. The guy in front of you forgot to turn it off. But its blinking. and blinking. and blinking. Before you do anything, you wonder, is it a sign? are mine on? I'll check my blinkers first before I high beam him.
Shit. I'm guilty.

On another website, I try to help women that are thinking about moving to Mexico with their husbands. The decision in itself is hard enough. I mention, despite the struggles, how great it will be for your family to stick together. The joys in the journey will prove prosperous in the end...Blah blah blah. Here I am preaching against all those that also post saying 'don't go', 'it will be a horrible experience', 'your children will suffer' etc.. when my blinker is on too.

Damn. I feel stuck. I'm so tired, and angry, and frustrated. It's been almost two years of struggle, beginning before we made the move and I'm thinking, "when is it gonna end?" I got so pissed off at hubby today, i thought about moving back! I love him. I don't want to leave him. but damn. I'm TIRED!!! so I thought, fine. I need to get away. and go where? to his mom's house, 3 hours away?!? and for what? to sit in some little ranch and watch the *ing cars? I feel trapped. and that damn blinker is starting to piss me off.

So what do I do? Go home? Stay here? Take a break? I swear, I'm wearing my body down. Maybe I should stop preaching before I am fully happy myself. Then will I be fully credible.

Friday, April 3, 2009

I do not understand.

All I hear on CNN is how horrible Mexico is doing... advisories to keep your kids out of Mexico.... the horrific drug related deaths etc....

Imagine. The problem in Mexico is DRUG DEALERS KILLING DRUG DEALERS.

The foreigners that have caught in the mix were mostly likely part of the problem, just the family will not admit to it.


oh wait, I did have my side mirrors on my truck stolen. damn it.

In the States, there are Random people on shooting sprees, teenagers planning school massacres, a mom trying to intoxicate her daughter to IMPREGNATE her, bernie madoff and all his croonies, an emergence of hate groups.... anyone else wanna add to this?!?

I think I feel safer here in Mexico than I did in the States and I feel that many forigners living here in Mexico would agree. What do you think?

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Gosh, Mexicans say the darnest things...

Well, I have found my next employee. Someone on the same page.... WITH previous experience in a condom shop in Puerto Vallarta. Nice, right? Even on his first day, he had decent sales. Hopefully, this will be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

One of the guys that had filled out an application earlier in the week, was a little older, homosexual, spoke great english and wanted to work in our sex shop. He sat patiently in our tattoo shop while talking to my hubby over the requirements of our shop.Unfortunetly, we had our eyes set on this younger guy,also homosexual, professional, little english, but with experience. Older guy came back yesterday to check up on his application, and we told him that we appreciated his app, but had hired someone else. He said that was great... because he was JEWISH and it was against his religion and it made him uncomfortable to be in a tattoo shop.


and he wanted to work where?!?!

About Me

My photo
I've been living in Mexico now for about a two years with my hubby and 2 kids. Not exactly by choice, but we're here nonetheless. Luckily, I live with quite a few of the accomodations that i was used to in the states. In spite of those convienences, we also have a water tank with asbestos, outdated electricity, massive amounts of dust, caterpillars that burn your skin, and thousands of windshield washers on every street corner. My kiddos and I are learning to speak spanish and adjust to life away from our family and friends in the States.


Related Posts with Thumbnails