Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Let the Truth be Told.

Since I´ve been feeling kinda crappy, I´ve been on blogger quite abit. In some part, I´m a little jealous. I´ve been reading different blogs and listening to wonderful stories and events going on in Mexico and the gringos that attend and spend oblivious amounts of money and live in little white neighborhoods, in quite comfortable American homes; Expats that have a gazillion family member and friends to celebrate the holidays; those that are bilingual and have secure American jobs with American money. I wish I could look at Mexico as a vacation or have the money to visit some of the really cool sites here. I´ve always been a little hesitant to go visit the American clubs and events down here... not because I´m snobby, but perhaps a little embarrassed. I guess I´m a little (lack of better word) embarrassed of WHY we´re in Mexico and I know that plenty of people ¨can be¨ mean, so why even bother. So I guess we´ve made some friends...Mexican clients of my hubby´s and I know that they treat us a little different because 1. Every tattoo artist down here sucks, and they want something from my hubby (at a good price of course) 2. We¨re American. 3. No matter what, even if my hubby was born here, he´s still not considered Mexican. It´s helped my hubby adjust, but for me, it´s like a slow slow process of translation. I get the average dialogue, but throw in street words and Mexican expression and seriously, I´m lost. So after a few ¨dates¨, no one really talks to the white girl anymore. Too complicated. But I def. can have a conversation about sex toys and lubricants due to 4 hours a day in my Sex Shop!!! Haha. I´ll bet they can´t do that!
Hence, here´s my situation. This whole move to Mexico came as a shock to us. I don´t think I have anything to hide here online. I´m a profile, right?!? My hubby tried to fix his immigration status in the States and we did everything EXACTLY as INS said. They didn´t send us a denial and 30 days äfter¨the date, 9 cops came in to his work and took him. He sat in jail for six months fighting the case. They tried to give him 72 months in prison. For What? Apparently, doing what they told us to do. We fought it and fought it and INS got caught in so many lies on the courtroom stand that soon their replies turned to ¨We don´t remember exactly.¨ The judge apologized to us, but there was nothing that he could do but give hubby time served and release him to INS. So INS agents ridiculed and harrassed him and within a week left him at the border. Lifetime ban. Period. We left our house, jobs, family and life in the States to start again down south. I refused to move to the small town of hubby´s family because seriously, it is so outdated, that as a modern, tattooed mom with an attitude, I would get buried there. Instead, we moved two hours away to Guadalajara, where we could find opportunity, updated technology, & lifestyle similar (or closeas possible) to the States. ALL our money went into the move, keeping our house in the States, updating our crappy rental house in Mexico, customizing and starting a tattoo show for hubby (including supplies $$$), putting the kids in private school (since they don´t speak a lick of spanish), paying off our truck in the States so we could bring it down south, and buying the Sex shop next door to well, give me something to do. So while I sit back and stare at dildo´s all day, I get to thinking...
....and reading other expat blogs.... and guess what?!? I'm not alone. There are other women on here that didn't exactly PLAN on moving here, or have the best start here in Mexico, or are at least on the same page as where I at, emotionally, physically and spiritually. It feels good to know that even on my CRAPPIEST of crappy days here in Mexico.... I'm not unique,special or a martyr... which somehow makes me feel better, knowing that there's gotta be some good days coming my way!

p.s. FOR WORK, of course, we're going to the Expo Sexo in Mexico City this weekend. If you have the opportunity, I'd advise a visit. it's a huge event which is said to be as large as the expo in VEGAS!!! There will def. be a blog following. ;)


Doña Junta said...

I commented but not sure if it went through? Anyhow here it goes again…
No be jealous of those white people spending foolish amounts money during these economic hard times they are just a bunch of tourists with no real culture.
I know that it must be hard for you to have dropped your normal life in the States for love but I fully understand. I have gone through a similar experience with my hubby being away (not the whole Mexico thing) but it still is a hard thing to go through. Just think positive and embrace the culture much like you have been doing. I know things like language barriers can be hard but you will get the hang of it with time. It is just a chapter in your life you are going through and a strong woman like you and your family will overcome all this. The sex shop thing is cute and got to have those lubes! and silver bullets lol.

Arcy said...

I know EXACTLY how you feel, my husband too is banned for life (probably for similar reasons to your hubby), and although I am not there yet, I am also jealous of all the fun things expats get to do when they go down south and most importantly I am jealous that they have the opportunity to come back home if things dont work out for them in Mexico. That said, I am a very positive and optimistic person and know that somehow things will work out for us wherever we are.

On Mexican Time said...

Hola Chica!!!

We all came to Mexico for various reasons, and are not to judge. I honestly wish you and your family nothing but the best with your businesses!!

With the language - I can honestly tell you the same thing I tell everyone. Practice, practice, practice. One day you'll realize you actually understand! It's an amazing feeling, and you really feel like you belong!

Your kids will pick it up in school pronto!

Just remember - it takes a stronger person, like yourself, to do what you did...it's not easy to pick up and leave a life behind!

Anonymous said...

hey, I only discovered your blog a short time ago but I just wanted to say that I think you seem like an amazing woman. I mean, look at all you and your family have accomplished in a short amount of time - how many of the wealthy retirees in gringo enclaves would have been capable of achieving all that? I don't want to trivialise your struggles or feelings, but I think you're off to a damn good start and wish you didn't feel embarrassed for anything - because you have absolutely no reason to feel pena, but a whola lotta reasons to hold your head up high when you look in the mirror each morning. Best wishes to you and your family, hang in there.

- Amy

Lesley said...

Hi there: I've been a lurker on your blog for a little while now, but this post made me want to comment. First, you have a great blog -- it's so honest. And even though I moved to Mexico City a month ago because I really wanted to, I can definitely identify with having crappy days because of new customs, culture, how it takes FIVE MILLION YEARS to get anything done around here, etc. You are totally not alone! And it WILL get better. It has to.

Wish I could go to the Sexpo. I'm out of town starting Saturday. Will await your report!

Nancy said...

Hey there!

I just found your blog and am already a fan. However as a youngish retiree in Mazatlan I would encourage you to go to the expat get togethers once in a while. I went to a few here and made some really good friends, some of whom are in their 30's.

My husband and I are both tattooed and we had worried when we moved here that it would set us apart in a bad way. But people have either been admiring or curious, which has been a nice surprise.

Next time we're in Guadalajara we'll come see you!


PuertoVallartaGirl said...

I´m with ya sista. email me k. my email is puertovallartagirl@gmail.com

still in puerto vallarta, hopeing to return to the us some day. waiting to sell our house in pv.

Amanda said...

So we should get together for real. Your not that far from us, and I think it would help us and our husbands a lot. I try not to think about how different it is for those who are here with US money in the bank, it gets me a little down also. But some of their experiences we can still relate to. You should know Im in awe of the fact that you have managed to get a business going and are running it. Dude, Im baking bread at home to help us get some extra cash, because Im to afraid my Spanish is to crapy to work as a nurse. There are more of us who have moved here because of our husbands legal status in the States than you could even imagine. I find more girls everyday and Im sure they will keep showing up if we all keep communicating. Keep your thoughts coming on the blog its relieving to read others who feel the same and are going through this. Like you said its nice to know we are not a lone in this. The funny thing is I think for everyone Iv meet even our husbands feel as out of place as we do and I know mine has had a harder time accepting the fact that I had to move here.

Julie said...

Am dying to hear how the Sexpo was this weekend! Would have loved to meet up with you but unfortunately I had class most of the weekend. :( Looking forward to the update...

As others have already said, I give you a ton of credit for all you've managed to accomplish already down here. You're totally right; Mexico is tricky to adjust to when you have everything going your way, much less when you don't. I know how lucky we are to have all the support from my husband's job, but rest assured that hasn't seemed to have impacted the increased frequency with which I burst into tears over frustration w/my language abilities or the difficulty to make new BFFs. :)

My only hot advice is that I think that if I lived in Guadalajara, eating at Karne Garibaldi every day would probably help me forget my frustrations. Bacon will do that for you.

About Me

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I've been living in Mexico now for about a two years with my hubby and 2 kids. Not exactly by choice, but we're here nonetheless. Luckily, I live with quite a few of the accomodations that i was used to in the states. In spite of those convienences, we also have a water tank with asbestos, outdated electricity, massive amounts of dust, caterpillars that burn your skin, and thousands of windshield washers on every street corner. My kiddos and I are learning to speak spanish and adjust to life away from our family and friends in the States.


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