Saturday, February 21, 2009

Just kick me already.

Lately i've been on a downward spiral. Everyone is noticing. Javo, after the whole break-in, noticed I've been real stressed and offered to come in all day and work, relieving me in the mornings. So yesterday, trying to get some other things done, i started to work on my taxes for the States. I get a phone call from my mom saying that hubby's bro is sticking him with a w2 that he "earned" money from the tattoo shop up there. WTF?!? He was in Mexico or in Jail last year. How in the hell!?! I'm not paying that much in taxes this year. I got screwed last year by my tax person and payed a $1000 to have my taxes done and get NO money back. I'm really cautious this year. So, I did what I prolly shouldn't have done. I called hubby at work and screamed at him, including that his bro was an asshole and blah blah. He has to take care of this, blah blah. And he said, fine, well, YOU tell my bro he is an ass. Whatever. I instead call his tax accountant and got a completely different answer. Well, by the end of the day, I got it all figured out. I found us a way to get a nice return and file it online. Then Mom calls and I suggest filing my taxes online and save the hefty filing fees. She flips out. She already made an appointment and what is she to do with it. Ask him to ammend last year's taxes. Oh no. She flips out. She's going to go fiddle with her new tarot cards. ARGH! I can't win. Then hubby gets home. I explain the whole tax thing. He thinks it's a great idea, then asks me if I called his bro to go off on him. No, if he didn't know what was going on, then I might as well call someone that does. Then, hubby flips out saying that I vent to him and have him take care of everything and he is so freakin stressed out. We didn't talk the rest of the night.

So, okay. Maybe I shouldn't have said all those things. Maybe I'm stressing a little more than i should be. But, fuck. Who can I vent to? Hubby says he's got way more responsibility. But I help him with his shop, my shop, my kids, cleaning the house, cooking and all the shit in the States. Plus, he spends his day painting, drawing, or tattooing and when he tattooes, he sits there and has random conversations with his clients. I can't. I talk to my kids and him. Maybe a bit to Javo, but really basic, and it's usually about work. I need a friend. I need to be able to release some of this tension. I don't have anyone to talk to, except vent on this damn blogger... and I KNOW that the people that are reading either live in Mexico with a similar situation or are going to live in MX and they don't want to hear how live freakin sucks. I'm lonely. Fuck it. I'm going to tell hubby that I want to go back to the States and visit. I'm tired and I want to be around people that I can converse with, joke around with, and damn it, just relax. He can take care of all the BS. But we don't have any money right now. Shit has been slow. Argh. Maybe when the tax rebate comes. Then I'm outtie.


Theresa said...

Ah ha! The comments now work! I think it's important to have someone to speak English to that isn't your SO. Especially if your Spanish isn't up to it, or you haven't made the sorts of friends you can talk to.
Personally, I love your blogging style. There are enough people on the web who sugar coat living here, it isn't perfect, it has it's ups and downs.
By the way, in April we are holding the 2nd Latin American bloggers Meet & Great in Merida. It should be cheaper than a flight NOB.

Sunshine said...

Yeah i can leave a comment....i've been wanting to for uh...weeks now....big hugs mama...i know the feeling of needed adult's kids or our man and sometimes that just is not appealing. Has it been a full moon or what....were going through sheeza are not alone...and hey i dont mind talking to someone who is going through the same thing as helps cause we have lots in common. I've been thinking about going back to the states to work...but i decided i have to hang in for this ride of our we are on...i am going back to NC in April for 2-3 weeks for my oldest son's 15th birthday. I'm charging it all....because we are broke to. Hopefully i can file my taxes and get something back too. Who knows...hey i love to read your blog....honestly i look it up everyday to see what's happening one else knows what it's like living in MX...except us ladies who are here.

Christine said...

I have now been in Mexico for 4 years. Our first year here I went CRAZY! I was an irritated, emotional, agitated, frustrated, miserable wreck. I felt isolated and resentful towards my husband for us being here. The language barrier on my part made things even worse.
It is now 4 years later and things have drastically improved.
Keep on venting.

Christine said...

I forgot to say, I love reading your blog. I feel I can relate with you in so many ways. People that have not lived here in Mexico can not relate. Know you are not alone.

Arcy said...

I like reading your blog because you tell it like it is, and I know what im in for :) I cant even imagine how it feels like to not be able to hold an average conversation (((HUGS))) (Im pretty corny I know). We have a lot in common in terms of our families views and being the wild child, Id love to get together with you and Amanda when I am in Guadalajara for spring break!

About Me

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I've been living in Mexico now for about a two years with my hubby and 2 kids. Not exactly by choice, but we're here nonetheless. Luckily, I live with quite a few of the accomodations that i was used to in the states. In spite of those convienences, we also have a water tank with asbestos, outdated electricity, massive amounts of dust, caterpillars that burn your skin, and thousands of windshield washers on every street corner. My kiddos and I are learning to speak spanish and adjust to life away from our family and friends in the States.


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