Wednesday, October 14, 2009

What happened to an old skool spanking?

Everyday, I think about our move to Mexico. I wonder how our journey will in time affect our relationships, family, and children's future. It sucks that the move has made it more difficult for my kids to have a relationship with their grandparents and extended family. They have lost their childhood friends, their customs, their comfort zone, their ability to joke around, and just be normal kids. The pressure has been brought on early in life. They are foreigners in another country, where kids, like all kids, can be mean. They are forced to adapt, learn another language, be stared at (not that we make that any easier in a conservative country), and still be children and grow up. Little One is adapting. He doesn't understand the difference in cultures, what is allowed and what isn't, but he's picking it up, slowly but surely. Moosecake is doing wonders. Six months ago, we considered sending her back up to the States... but after reading the success in Moving-Kids-to-Mexico's family , I had hope for my dear child. Four months ago, we put Moosecake in a spanish tutor. During summer, she went every day.... drove me nuts. She has now earned Student of the Week, two weeks in a row, top of her class and is 1 of the 3 students, competing to be the best reader and participate in some school event. It's her second language!!! She has done wonders... in a short time... when she was ready. And I am so proud of her.

I swear, I only had to starve her once... or twice.

Which brings me to our next point. I still wonder how the significant difference in cultures will affect our kids as they get older. Will they pick up the traditional values in Mexico? the Machismo? all those Catholic virtues? Then you throw in the apparent "freedom" here, where your personal security also takes a hit, especially if it involves contact with narcos or our fabulous justice system here. But does that even really affect our kids safety? I feel pretty safe here in GDL.

Even violence in children isn't really apparent here in Mexico. Today on CNN, a 15 year old was lit on fire for telling his dad who stole his bike. The police investigator said that we need to teach these kids that this is wrong. THEY KNOW IT'S FUCKING WRONG. We don't hear of any of that here in Mexico. No school shootings, gang problems, stabbings, kids on fire?!? Public schools here, you might have fist fights... but the private schools, which are so common, is NOT tolerated. I can't tell you how many times we've gotten little notes from school because Little One likes to play rough, like a boy, and how even that little bit of energy is pacified asap. If the U.S's education system is wonderful.... then why are we still producing products like this or this daily?

Maybe we should go back to old skool discipline. Revive 'soap in the mouth' and ritual spankings.... hot sauce too. That was a good one. Remind kids of their manners and how to correctly speak to adults. When your kid is being an ass, whoop their ass UNTIL they learn not to do it again. If your kid is a smart ass, wash the words right out of their mouth.... okay, so maybe I'm pushing it...but I do remember a fondness for DIAL. But we DO need to bring back some level of discipline.... for the betterment of our children. I don't ever want to experience the daily fear of sending my children to school.


Ritamg said...

My pop was a teacher and a football/basketball coach. My sisters and I were scared to death of getting in trouble at school. We weren't scared of the discipline at school. The real scare came when we got home. And since he was a teacher, he knew we were in trouble before we even knew we were in trouble. All of us kids grew up to be responsible adults. Something must have been done right.

kyledeb said...

I just came across your blog and I was wondering if you could get in touch with me at kyle at citizenorange dot com. I hope all is well.

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Oh thank god I'm not the only one flipping out a little bit inside about this. I wonder a lot about the fact that my child is going to grow up so far from where I did in such a DIFFERENT WORLD then I did! I had trees and grass and fields and forrests and lakes and animals and SNOW. I lived where people don't kiss each other in greeting every day and where everyone speaks english and worries about their clothes and how cool their shoes are. I came from the country side with no neighbors or busses or taxis. We didn't pay off police men and we had 911. Ok I'll stop but you know there are 1,309 other things to list and I wonder so much about how different her view of the world will be.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand I totally support soap-in-the-mouth. It sucks and you learn real damn (darn) fast. :P

Refried Dreamer said...

Rita~that's the point though! Parents just don't do enough anymore. Instead, we hope that our teachers raise our children, when in fact, they've given up hope as well.

Gringa~ how funny you say that... but let's also add where you can drink from the garden hose and not keel over from stomach pains!

There are pluses and minuses on both ends... but I hope our kids get the best of both worlds!

Mama of 4 said...

Great Post! I also agree raising your kids with some old school discipline. Its funny you posted this because yesterday on the news there was a story about a parent who made her daughter keep a soap bar in her mouth for 10 minutes (I think) for using swear words and the girl developed an allergic reaction and had to go to the hospital, her parents are now in jail for child abuse! Your damned if you do and damned if you dont I tell ya ;)

Anonymous said...

This is what I did instead of soap. It cost my kids a dime every time they used a word I found unacceptable. The phrase 'I hate _____' cost them 30 cents (a pet peeve). Then the crown-er was when I got enough change to buy an ice cream cone, they got to watch me eat it. It only took a time or two and they cleaned up their language. And they still watch their language around me. LOL Judy

About Me

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I've been living in Mexico now for about a two years with my hubby and 2 kids. Not exactly by choice, but we're here nonetheless. Luckily, I live with quite a few of the accomodations that i was used to in the states. In spite of those convienences, we also have a water tank with asbestos, outdated electricity, massive amounts of dust, caterpillars that burn your skin, and thousands of windshield washers on every street corner. My kiddos and I are learning to speak spanish and adjust to life away from our family and friends in the States.


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