Monday, September 14, 2009

Shadows and dust....

I want to go home.

I came to this f-in country to be a partner, a friend, and a spouse.... not a f-in shadow.

ARGH!!!!!!!

I need a drink.

14 comments:

IKUSKA said...

Hey!
Don't let you go down!
I read your blog often, I love it!

Amanda said...

I feel you, Im feeling so homesick right now to. Sorry your feeling like his shadow I wish we lived closer so you and I could branch off and be our own people with out them sometimes.

Refried Dreamer said...

Thanks. <3

Anonymous said...

I too often read your blog and enjoy your postings. Marriage...Peaks and valleys...and no magic fixes(This comment also applies to child rearing). WHo am I kidding? - Run like hell!!!

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

I feel like our husbands need to be EXTRA careful and nice and. . . GOOD TO US that are in this kind of situation. Sometimes I feel like it's not fair of me and I hate myself when I say to him for the umteenth time "I don't HAVE to be here you know!!" but it's the Gods truth. We gave up EVERYTHING EVER-Y-DAMN-THING we ever knew to come here and be with them and they are the ONLY reason we stay. So it had BETTER be a damn good reason.

Rant over, soap-box burned, I hope you feel better soon and he treats you like the superstar you are.

Mama of 4 said...

Dont let it get to you, we are all rooting for you! Make sure he knows how you feel, communication is key when going through difficult and stressful times, best of luck!

Sunshine said...

(((((hugssss)))))) mama....hope your doing better....this to shall pass...and it is what it is....smiles!

Yo Heart a Tirrin said...

Chika! You are supposed to be my guidance, my hope for a way of life out there. I look up to you, to your strenght, your hmm how can I say this hehe well just that that you are my Hero pues being that you & your kids hardly know the language you made the move out there. You give me and lots of us hope that no matter were as long as the family stays united everything will work out. So far our case looks good, pero in case it don't work out and we get deported know that reading your story has given me faith and hope that all will be good. I do wish you the best and trust me when I say this you have both come a long way to give up now. And anywho you can't come back to the states kuz if we get sent overthere you gotta still be there to hire me to work at your store :P

Tulum Living said...

hey there baby! it is amazing how different the reality of living here with hubby and kids is in this country then I was thinking it would be. Both the good and the bad. :) I hope things get better.

Refried Dreamer said...

Thanks for all the support guys.

The other nite, we had a talk. Well, I had a talk.... and took your advice and said absolutely everything that I've wanted to say, but didn't, over this last year. It hurt us both, but I think by the end of the nite, he had a different understanding of how I felt and how the kids feel. (mostly me... I was a bit selfish.) In the emotional uproar, I also managed to blame him for Little One getting chicken pox as his way of keeping me in Mexico on my bithday. (I know... mean, just mean.) All joking aside, I reminded him that it's just me here.... from the beginning.. not the guys at the shop (who basically started this whole thing) and not his friends...it's me. If he can't remember that...well you know what comes next. Somehow under all the pressure of "succeeding" here in Mexico and patching a new life together, we became engulfed with work...almost TOO much... where we became more roomates and coworkers instead of partners. We're gonna try this again... and see if we get it right this time. :)

Amanda said...

So great to hear you all talked about it. Keeping things out in the open is always the best idea. Keep talking and keep spending time together. So glad to hear this is working out. It wont be easy but who ever said being married was.

Vadose said...

Refried - I feel like I completely relate. Of course, without knowing you, without having met, not knowing what you go through, still it sounds SO familiar. I don't know that it will, but if it makes it any easier, know you're not the only one doing what you're doing.

Leah Flinn said...

I never knew there were so many others in a similar situation as myself! I have to constantly fight feelings of self-pity and the urge to run back to the US sometimes. My hubby is very supportive when I get frustrated here, but sometimes he needs reminded that I am here b/c of HIM! And gave up a lot to do so.

Adelina said...

hearing about how all of you guys feel the same way sometimes makes days like this a little less lonely.
it does get old always having to remind my husband that i have NOTHING here except for him. he still doesn't get it.

About Me

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I've been living in Mexico now for about a two years with my hubby and 2 kids. Not exactly by choice, but we're here nonetheless. Luckily, I live with quite a few of the accomodations that i was used to in the states. In spite of those convienences, we also have a water tank with asbestos, outdated electricity, massive amounts of dust, caterpillars that burn your skin, and thousands of windshield washers on every street corner. My kiddos and I are learning to speak spanish and adjust to life away from our family and friends in the States.

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